Thursday, October 8, 2009

the current reason I'm ranting

okay this situation has been going on for entirely too long and unfortunately there isn't a whole lot I can do about it because it has to deal with one of the members of the homeschooling group that I'm a co-leader of. I have to watch what I say or do because if I tick her off too much it could get very ugly. But apparently my very existence ticks her off. sounds like a no win situation huh?

I'm gonna be somewhat nice here and assign her a different name because I'm not totally's way more than she deserves though. I'm gonna call her Kat here.

Kat & I have known each other for quite a while and our daughters are friends. The kids get along great for the most part but occasionally they do have their squabbles. I cannot tell you how many times my daughter has complained about seems very frequent because of course the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. However, the kids always seem to work most things out on their own.

It is just that when Kat tries to get involved that all goes to hell. Kat gets all hot fired mad at me and my daughter and tries with all her might to punish us. She once tired to get me "fired" from my co-leader position with the homeschool group by sending emails to the other two co-leaders.

She has also tried to get the mothers of my daughter's other friends to not allow their kids to play with my child.* THIS IS WHAT ANGERS ME THE MOST!!!!

I don't really care that Kat can't stand me. The feelings are mutual. And while it pains my daughter, the severing of the relationship between our girls is okay with me too. There is a substantial age difference and the things the girls have in common with each other is getting less and less...I figured that the girls would eventually split on their own here soon without any help.

an example of the craziness:

Kat's daughter's birthday party.

Kat's husband managed to earn a free night at a local hotel. Kat decided to hold the birthday party at the hotel with the kids swimming in the pool and having a sleepover at the hotel. She invited a few girls, including my daughter and her best friend.

The following day she sent me and best friend's mom an email suggesting that if our girls didn't want to attend the party that would be okay and she could then invite some other kids. (namely: her twin son and one of his friends, because she hadn't bothered to plan a party for him!)

Friend's mom and I were both highly offended at this. We both wanted the girls to attend the party - HOWEVER, we were both weirded out at the thought of the sleepover being held at a hotel. Friend didn't want to sleep at the hotel as she doesn't like to. So friend's mom responded right away that friend would attend the party, but would not be sleeping over.

I decided to not tell Kat that my daughter wasn't going to sleep over. YES, this was WRONG of me. I was going to take my daughter to the party and let her know that I would be picking her up later that evening.

Of course my daughter threw a wrench into those plans when she and Kat's daughter were playing together and talking about the party. Instead of truthfully telling Kat's daughter that her stick in the mud mother wouldn't allow her to sleepover, my daughter tells Kat's daughter that she "has something better to do." *insert eye roll here!*

Kat's mother zipps me off an email asking about if my daughter is staying the night. I told her honestly that I wasn't comfortable with her staying at a hotel. To which Kat gets all hot fired mad and UNINVITES my daughter and best friend to the entire party. She said in the email that if the girls didn't want to stay for the sleepover that they could not attend the rest of the party.

okay here's where the assuming begins: best friend's mom & I think that what must have happened here is that Kat assumed that 1) We didn't trust Kat with our children for the sleepover and 2) that our girls were planning to have their own sleepover (because my child said she had something better to do.)

what was really going on was that I had promised my child something special since I wasn't going to allow her to do the sleepover (mommy guilt). Best friend and my child had no plans to see each other except for at the party.

Kat should know that I don't have any problems with my daughter being in her care as she has slept over at her house numerous times!

All that said I realize that having a pool party at a hotel pool isn't such a good idea either. There is no lifeguard and my daughter still doesn't know how to swim. And there's still the issue with the hotel probably having a problem with the situation also.

This isn't the first time Kat has "blown up" like this. I'm usually her favorite kicking post, but she's blown up at others too. The other co-leaders of the group and I keep track of it all...we're trying to CYA in case she takes it any further. There seems to be a pattern to Kat's outbursts. She blows up, tries to punish, and then acts as if nothing ever happened to your face and eventually she forgets about it.

sigh! I just wish there were some way for this all to not include me & my daughter anymore.

*no, I'm not paranoid. I actually saw the email she sent to best friend's mother.


  1. Maybe keep your daughter so busy she doesn't have time to play with Kat's? As you said, they are already drifting apart.

  2. Oh, comment verification screwed me up. Forget what I wrote. Something like my new anxiety about Parent Politics affecting kid politics and vice versa.... It's a tough one. Time will sort it out. I'm NO help. I know. hang in there!